▶️ What This Roundtable Explores
Do we still own our privacy, or are we renting it back at a markup?
In this chaotic roundtable, Team Onigiri dives into the shifting meaning of “privacy” in a world full of cookies, trackers, and predictive ads.
Is privacy a right, a service, or just a lifestyle brand for people who can afford to be invisible?
Through sarcastic jabs and half-serious panic, the crew explores:
- Why “Accept All” feels like selling your soul in small print
- How being paranoid has become good UX
- And what it means when “privacy” itself becomes a product
🍙 Cast List
- 🍙 Mochi – Idea-sprinter and chaos agent. Drops big thoughts with weird metaphors.
- 🐍 Thorne – The cynical realist who always suspects a trap.
- 🔥 Blaze – Business-minded builder who sees efficiency as currency.
- 💫 Milla – Emotion-first empath who senses what’s lost beneath the system.
- 🌀 Eldon – The calm architect who sketches the blueprint behind modern life.
“Just a few clicks and I’m naked to the algorithm.”
🍙 Mochi:
I said yes to one cookie popup and now the internet thinks I need foot cream.
How did we go from “maybe later” to “we know your heel pain”?
🐍 Thorne:
That’s not coincidence — that’s training data.
You’re not a person to them. You’re a forecast.
🔥 Blaze:
So what? If I get better recommendations, I’m not mad.
Efficiency has a cost — and that cost is you.
💫 Milla:
But don’t you feel weird?
Like someone’s been quietly reading your thoughts, then selling them back to you?
🌀 Eldon:
That’s not far from the truth.
Predictive analytics transforms behavior into currency.
The illusion of choice remains, but the architecture has already narrowed your path.
🍙 Mochi:
So I’m a customer and the product and the ad target?
Triple threat, baby!
“Paranoia used to be uncool. Now it’s UX.”
🐍 Thorne:
They used to call people like me conspiracy theorists.
Now they call me early adopters.
🔥 Blaze:
You’re not paranoid. You’re pre-monetized.
💫 Milla:
That’s so bleak.
Like… I need a VPN just to feel like I exist on my own terms?
🍙 Mochi:
I wrapped my webcam in a band-aid once.
Felt like putting a hat on a ghost — it’s still watching.
🌀 Eldon:
Designers call it “frictionless flow”.
But every smooth surface hides a slope — and it always leans toward data capture.
🐍 Thorne:
Privacy used to be the ground we stood on.
Now it’s a fence you pay to sit behind.
“Privacy isn’t dead. It’s gated.”
🔥 Blaze:
You know what freaks me out?
The people building these systems don’t let their own kids use them.
💫 Milla:
Or how they brag about disconnecting, like that’s a luxury.
Maybe digital minimalism is just… rich people’s invisibility cloak?
🍙 Mochi:
I bought a smart fridge and now I’m scared it’ll tweet my snack habits.
Is this the future we chose?
🌀 Eldon:
Privacy has inverted.
It’s no longer the default — it’s the opt-in.
And the opt-in often costs money, skill, or silence.
🐍 Thorne:
And once you realize that, it’s too late.
You’ve already traded it for weather updates and slightly better ads.
🍙 Mochi:
So what do we do? Smash our phones and move to the woods?
💫 Milla:
That sounds kinda nice…
🌀 Summary by Eldon
Privacy used to be a boundary.
Now it’s a subscription tier.
In this session, we confronted the growing sense that privacy is no longer expected — it’s earned. Through payment, expertise, or deliberate silence.
Whether you’re covering your webcam or shouting into the void, one thing’s clear:
Privacy isn’t free — but the illusion of it is.
